A Queer Dharma

by Jacoby Ballard (he/they)

Read February 2025

★★★★★

Really powerful and moving-- I am by no means a yoga scholar, not even a lay practicioner, but Buddhism has been the most positive of religious influences in my life (even all the way out here in the west) and as a queer person, and at this particular time in the world, "A Queer Dharma" has offered me a lot of comfort and things to think about.

Part memoir, part code of ethics, part call to action this book offered catharsis in a way that solidly happy things never seem to manage. I'm the kind of person to find simply sugary things too fake to enjoy. Those signs people post on the side of the road "I DON'T KNOW YOU, BUT I LOVE YOU" or notes tucked into books "If you're reading this, know that I love you" just make me angry. It's not my favorite part of myself, and I'm not saying that my instinctive anger implies that leaving these messages is Actually A Bad Thing, just that it makes me frustrated and angry when I come across it. Does it keep others from killing or otherwise hurting themselves? I hope so, people definitely put a lot of work into it. The things that actually touch my heart acknowledge difficulty and doesn't erase it by the end, and this book does that. Some of the stories Ballard told legitimately brought tears to my eyes (while listening to the audiobook at work) and it's the acknowledgement of speckles of joy on the background of suffering that makes me feel comforted. When everything is terrible will oranges still taste sweet?

And Buddhism has been a pronounced influence on my life I think, my big sister(s)¹ is Buddhist and has certainly been the single most positive presence and while she never passed the more religious aspects onto me, I believe that Buddhism gave her a path to mindfulness and constancy and stability and that's what was really meaningful. "A Queer Dharma" was written by a white trans person in response to the racism, queerphobia, fatphobia, and classism they found in yoga studios. Their book explores not only the problems these issues cause, but ways they've found around it and what wider trends they hope for yoga studios in the west to adopt. Also, each chapter concludes with a guided meditiation though I can't say that I've tried any yet, since I listened to this book at work.

The part that really affected me, nearly to tears, was hearing the responses imprisoned people had to Ballard's yoga lessons. With Musk and Fried and their ilk in the news a lot right now, I've heard a lot about how """effective altruism""" has been created and twisted to hide selfish monstrosity behind the promise of a higher quantity and more "effective" do-gooding, so hearing these stories about people finding meaning and value in human life and small experiences exposed the quality and meaningfulness of what lies buried in effective alturism's golf course. What I think I'll use the most in my life is the concrete examples of how to shift from the more navel-gazing parts of meditation that a lot of eastern religions get turned into, into real skills that are applicable when interacting with people that may be otherwise difficult for me to understand or instinctively feel compassion for. I'd heartily reccomend this book for anyone who's heard a lot of "don't treat people like X" and maybe would like some "DO treat people like Y".

¹Maybe both sisters? Maybe just one? What does it mean to "be buddhist" do you have to be initiated, pass a test, follow certain guidelines or else you get kicked out???